MAnic disorder

Currently suffering from manic disorder. Sometimes I am real high, I can laugh in the face of danger, absolutely altered affect. My laughter is hysterical like the ones of a hyena. I really want the days to pass as quickily as possible, am so so depressed.

EXAMS are killing me, cramping doesn't work on me. Maybe believing in that hideous dream was right, I am going to just answer 2 questions out of 3 and leave the rest of the MCQ blank. No one can save me now, my days started darkening every minute. Curtains and curtains of shadows are shading my line of sight.

if I really die tomorrow, I will live as a zombie, an undead. To live is always about seeing the sun rise everyday but from tomorrow onwards, everything would be like a darken shroud

haiz... I am really really glad I can blog! Stuck outside my house, nowhere to go.... I don't know what's wrong with me today. I forgot to bring my keys, my handphone and my pencil box. That's really crap because

1. I have impaired communication
2. impaired sense of security
3. I want to watch 王子变青蛙 But I can't !

='[

After realising how useless and stupid I was for not bringing those essential things, I went to the yishun library. I can't really call it a library because THEY DON'T HAVE DECENT TABLES FOR STUDYING SAKE! I have to share a space with a bunch of uncles reading newspaper. It isn't any great to sit next to a bunch of uncles who flip newspapers noisily and blowing random jets of air at my face.

I was really tolerating. The stupidiest thing that the library did was to sacrifice 2 tables for reading newspaper, considering those were the only decent tables in the whole entire library. Yishun library is the first library that I find newspapers on leash! How could they treat them like dogs? Well, I think this is really a very idiotic ideal. The "poor" ah peks have to shift from on seat to another just to read a different newspaper. How crapish is that?

Har.... All I know is that the uncles that live near the library are so poor until they can't even afford 80 cents to buy themselves newspaper. TOOTs.....

I think the uncle bau toh me and told the librarian that I was occupying the space and not using it for reading newspaper. Oh whatever! Anyway, the librarian directed me to the multipurpose room. This time, the tables were all for squating down and the one with chairs had no leg space, bad for the back! So I gave up and stomped out of that place.

Trying my luck, I picked up the public phone and dialed my home no. To my dismay, nobody picked it up. Next I rang up my brother who had the highest possible chance that he could come home early. Unfortunately, the way he sounded on the phone gave me the impression that staying outside for a longer period would be a better idea.

So I thought, where the hell should I go now? The options were northpoint, woodland's library.

both didn't suit me. I suddenly realised how great my school's library was, so I decided to go back to school. HAIZ>

Gosh, I can't believe how shitty I feel right now! The people around me really sucked. All of them, haiz.... Tupid Avrel wrecked my thoughts, I am attracted to any guy already. All of them sucked in my opinion.

Happiness only last for a moment and depression seemed like forever. If I ever manage to get happy again, I will let that moment be so memoriable

Sian.ZzZzz.....

I have to blog in school because I had came early to get my psychomotor skills perfected. Yeah, I know I am a pretty kiasu person in general but I have to really practise alot to increase my confidence during the skills assessment. But my friends didn't even bother to come because they were just doing what a normal human should do; be self-centred and 如我为中心， 目中无人。I can't blame them for being like that because we are people who are always turning towards the dark side.

Darn... How come my heart just says that I am really going to be a pathetic splinster forever just like niao ka bell. Yesterday, I was reading about why some women always gets the same guys for their steads then in my mind was thinking, "one guy also don't have, then think so much about making a list on what types of guys I have, what attributes I want from a guy" So sucks loh, life. Don't even to stand a chance for such things. Darn, am I fated or something? When some things really don't work out to the way I want them to be, I just to say I am a person of isolation. Those couples holding hands and stuff really makes me feel like crap.

Am I that pathetically hopeless? Although my friend, Av*** really treats me damn nice but he is still trying to keep a distance from me. Yeah, I can sense it. Why do I always have to suffer all these useless emotional threats? Maybe I am just being cursed by this pathetic skin. I wonder why people are so darn practical when it comes to integrument disorders. People don't care about obesity, height, stupidity but integrument disorder are just a nono to people out there.

Haiz... Nothing is going to cheer me up. Since there is nobody active in hyper relay, then nobody is there to crap about. I mean why do I still bother to think about him almost 24 hour in a day? It's practically useless and it has no future. I just have to prevent myself from making myself daydream about me geting intimate with someone because basically nobody truely give a damn about dirt.

I don't want to think anymore! Why do I bother to help people anyway? I get nothing back in return and I am still treated like dirt!