It's being quite a while

I know I have being MIA for quite a while. Well, it's best you don't ask because the more you know, the more it gets complicated.

If you wanna know what I am doing with my life, I shall cut short all these in a few sentences. Unlike working people, they all have a nicely designed name card stating their particulars blah blah. Well, my job doesn't. Hahahhaa... Well, it's good because I don't like people giving away my phone no. and I end up picking up prank calls and other sick people asking me survey questions.

Ok, I will get to the point - I am a qualified registered nurse, working in a geriatric ward. My Nurse clinician asked me the other day whether I loved the elderly. I bet no one could have thought of my answer. I told her, " I love my patients more than my own grandparents" I am not boasting, am not stating false remarks. To me, my paternal relatives are as distant as any stranger on the road. My nurse clinician was shocked to hear me say such a thing because she thought that I was like any other youngster who practiced ageism ( discrimination against the older age group). In fact, I practiced lots of ageism but it's more towards the middle-age group.

Middle-age group are people who Singaporeans label them as aunties and uncles. We hate to dress like them, talk like them and behave like them because we will be laughed at like some over matured freak. This is how the society shaped us, young adults.

So it's my passion caring for the elderly.

Finally, after so many weeks.... I can blog again. Had being really down for the past few weeks. Everything just happens to me. I feel powerless to whatever is happening. Life really has to go on because I am blessed to be alive on earth. Many hoped for quality life but ended up lugging on the mechanical respirator. Who am I to say, it's not worth living?

What I can do now is to accept the change as it is and never to turn back.

Thanks for all who cared for me. =]

roar

Looks like life ain't the same. The older I get the more hectic life gets. I know I am getting old but things never seem to settle down. Yeah, just roughly estimated that my hair seem to be 5% white. Too much things to think about, so much turbulent events happening.

I once said all these are like challenges that keep coming non-stop. It's just a way to prove how strong I deal with all my problems. I don't know what to say but my ever-first depressing death I face in my life was the start of the rollar coaster ride. Maybe it's just the empty space I am trying so hard to fill it up, suppress the pain. Apparently, I still hadn't got it over with. Although now I feel quite settled with my feelings, unconsciously I do things to relive the happy past. There's no way of lying about my emptiness, my behaviours just show it.

No one can see the insensitive child within me, most of the time it just wants attention. People who look at me will think that I live like any other typical Singaporean girl, I could say either yes or no. Yes because I born into a normal family, typical Singaporean family, receive an education. No, because I learn how to deal with my emotions the hard way. At least that made me a strong person in general.

I pity those students who have exams during Chinese new year week. There's no fun, and all they worry is getting out of the messy pile of books they bury themselves into. My CNY worry is always unable to collect ang paos and get hallucinated by the feeling of being fat after the whole day. Well, I am glad I still have the same timetable I had when I was year 1.

After 3 days of school, I could feel the pressure once again. The inablilty to cope with the workload and tons of deadlines to fulfill. I wonder how a person like me who procrastinate so much survive till now. It's just my luck; the procrastinator's luck!
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I used to think that if one day a genie lamp appears right under my nose, I would try to rub it and see whether if such a thing existed.

"I am the genie of the lamp, I can offer you 3 wishes. What do you want me to fulfill?" The genie drones.

Ahhh... Don't tell me what to wish for!! I have exactly what's installed. "Genie, I want 20 more wishes, are you willing to grant me?" BLeah, I bet the genie will give me a screwed up face and go back to his lamp.

Nah, bad idea. Maybe I would just try and tell him I just want to stop procrastinating and look more confident on the outside. (Does that make 2? Well I phased it in one sentence, so it's one! Whahahaha)

The power of looking confident, scares the daylight out of my superiors. Instead of me agreeing to them, they agree to whatever I propose. Ain't that wonderful? Yeah, so much for day dreaming. Confidence can equip me with the ability to change the behaviour people have that I hate. That sound kinda like assertiveness. Oh well....

2nd wish..... I wished that there will be some way I can paint a smile when I can't force it. Not really very good with people relations but at least I look as if I have a positive attitude. First impressions always counts.

3rd? blah, can't I keep it for a rainy day? =]

HAPPY new YEAR! Whooohoo......

Another year of new hopes and dreams, new plans and experiences. In this year, I will be going into the workforce and taste the life of a normal adult where holidays are about taking leave, faking an MC. No such thing as "time's up, let's go home." The most common thing heard instead will be "I've got work to do! Leave me alone!"

Wow sound so exciting. Diaoz (I know I sound really fake...) Everyone hates to work for a living, studying is always better because it give us the right to depend on our parents for allowance. Hmmm.... Some may not agree with me because allowance is never enough for any lavish spender like me. However, after taking up holiday jobs, seeking for a place to earn some extra cash, I still think an occupation as a student still rock.

Why? A couple of simple reasons

• Student discounts. Just flash that ez-link card and the cashier with just give you a discount with an unhappy face.
• Student concession. Transport nowadays is so costly. I can use up a $20 farecard within 3 days. With student concession, I can same loads of money
• Special treatment. "Students makes mistakes, don't be so hard on them."
• HOLIDAYS. In a year, the is at least 60 days of holiday, not counting PH.
  
• Plenty of time. There is time to go crazy on exams and really slack after the exams.
• Performance is just about grades. While working, our performance is partly determined by how much the boss likes me.
  

Yeah, I can't forever be stuck in school. To stay positive, I have also come out with reasons why working is still better than studying.

• More money, more freedom on expenditure.
  
• Life is about working. =] The sooner I get used to it, it will be easier to cope with new environments.
• Feel more motivated, extrinsically.
• No more crap from school. I doubt there will be even more crap from my future workplace though.

I think thats all.

My new year resolution: Be happy working for the government! YEAH!
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My nearly 2 month old rabbit, Kira!

You may be curious why I called him Kira. I was kinda like crazy over the movie, Death note. Out of impulse, I called him that way. As time past, I discovered how much he suits that name. Firstly, he's intelligent, defiant and playful. He tries his best to get out of the cage by banging on the cage door until the clutch is loose. After that, I have to use a safety pin to stop that from happening. While attempting to lock him up in his cage, he pulled my safety pin from my hand and purposely dropped it into his potty. Really very naughty right? When he's done trying to escape, the shreds newspaper and made it into a tent! I bet Light in Death note would be like that if he had being a rabbit.

Staring out of his cage, planning for an escape

"Nah. Food is more important, plan later. "

"Whatever I do, I still won't get out one!!!! So unfair, I want to get out!"

"Nah nah, eat more, later then I try."

Was really bored at home so I made this for him.

Kira's very own t-shirt!