Thursday, September 01, 2005

life stinks!!!

I haven't started class and I am already scolding Yamaha's system!!! Why can't the teacher choose a book that is available in stock? Why is the receptionist so cold and not customer-oriented?

There's no point feeling angry about. Ok, I am feeling pretty moody lately becuase I am having my menses. All these thing just have to happen to me. I am really wondering why before all this happenings ever started, I was feeling ok.

Just before everything including way back july 2003! I hate life, there is no meaning moving on! I thought if I never had started being a human and knowing all my ethics. I don't want to continue acting the role of me!

The role of me sucks. First, you have to feel sympathy for anything unfortunate. Second, you require to hold back your emotions in front of people. Third, you must feel as if you are a nun. fourth, get bullied. Fifth, lose confidence.

You see? My role is shit! Why is there such a role in life in this world. The problem here is that I can't quit! My past shaped those qualities. People dispised me because of my skin quality was different from theirs.

I think albinos have better life than me although they have a different skin quality from people. Sometimes being normal is a really special thing. Normal is to have a complete healthy extended family, grands are still there, very loving and welcoming. Normal is to have results that will lead you to your dreams. Normal is to have a happy childhood. Normal is to go through every stage of life smoothly.

That is normality.

***

I feel being adult is boring! I want all children in this world to know being adult ain't something glamourous. Once you start landing yourself in a job, you will be working all your life and there's ain't time for yourself. All you do is to work and work and work! Once to obtain that concrete operational thoughts of being a human like what I am having now, you won't want be human already.

Life is so depressing, got job, there is no trill. Even if you have the trill, you think it's too stressful. When you are jobless, you feel deeply depress and useless.

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