The holidays are ending soon and I still don't have any motivation come out with things that occupy my precious time. Had being trying to conquer the stradegy of solving Sudoku puzzles. Apparently, easy and medium puzzles require different stradegies which I haven't figure it out yet!

Rabbit medicine

The diversity of human medicine that I am studying now can be applied to my pet rabbit. Kira, my 5 week old rabbit has dry crust on the dorsum of his body. It felt really hard, so I thought about looking for infomation on rabbit dermatology.

To my suprise, I found that the words used were no different from the pathology we learn in human medicine. To a layman, it seem like alien language but to me, it's like reading my Med-surg textbook. Then again I thought there's really nothing to be shock about since humans and rabbits are mammals, even lthough we don't have whiskers and 2 sharp front teeth.

The problem with the information on the web is that it's too concise, there's not much to read about. Human pathology has subcategories of symptoms, pathophysiology, treatment, investigations, alternative treatment. My favourite site for reading up is http://www.emedicine.com.

The wierd thing about all this is that there is so much emphasis and research on human medicine. Doctors are specialised in either dermatology, geriatry, opthlamology, Surgery, othorpedics, etc. Animal doctors are all classified into one speciality; Veterinary Science. Yeah, what really matters is which speciality earns the most money. But who said being a Vet doesn't earn a cent or get a job easily....

Maybe if the world becomes dorminated by all 4 legged creatures, more emphasis would be put on animals. I think I will be specialising in mammal pediatric nursing (care of young mammals from birth till teenage). LOLx. Sounds pretty intrigueing, or maybe Maternal-child healthcare of reptiles. Then I would be nursing baby turtles, crocodiles and snakes. EEEeeekkk...

Never thought medicine would be so interesting until other species of animals are included in my workscope.

Randomness

Hiaz, am I really that unpopular? I don't have the power of persuasion, charisma. If one day I am appointed to rule the earth, within 30 seconds everyone starts overthrowing. Somehow, I don't quite like having power over people. The responsiblilty to fail is higher than being a member of a team.

As always, I have failure-phobia. I am afraid to fail but I like taking risks. When it comes to having many people involved under my power, I get worried. I still remember that semester when I was appointed the leader; nobody is willing to listen to what I am going to say and I just submit to the fact that I can't lead anyone.

Oh man....... What to do? I am stressing myself recently to be more confident when I give out instructions. Look straight in the eye and instill the firm look into their faces.

------------------

Just recently I told my aunt that I won't be providing her kids with tuition anymore due to my tight schedule. I tried refering her to my brother because he told me once that he needed extra cash ( which I denied when I ask him about it! Fickled-minded....) but she went silent for moments. When my cousin heard about it, they cried, " I don't want him to teach mi, I want manyun!" As you know, kids have this " I want... I want....." attitude. The more "I wants" they say, the more spoilt they are.

My cousin snatch the phone from her mom, "Manyun, you're teaching me right? Ask your brother to teach YJ." I could sense the fear in her voice. So I am still teaching them because I am back by popular demand. LOLx....

I wonder why they love me so much. Neither do I have an NIE certificate nor dedicated spirit. I sound like some quack that is all out to leech people's money. *Quack*

Reasons why I can't drive for nuts.

1. Bad sense of direction
   I can walk in circles and circles without realising I am walking in circles. If you ask me how do I go back from here, I will give you that pathetic blank look.
   
2. Once I start driving, my side mirrors will be gone.
   There is a tendency I will hit the side lamps or railings at the roadside, if u ever give me a chance to drive. With my perception of depth and distance, in no time the car would be back at the repair shop.
   
3. Road names? Expressways?
   I don't know how they link with each other. AYE, PIE, whatever the E is... I do hope it leads me to somewhere safe.
   
4. I am too young to die, in other words, KIA SEE!
   I have seen too many Road traffic accident trauma cases in the hospital and how they ended up. It is just too painful to see myself in the same situation. I am afraid of dying right now, got lots of unfinished business.
   
5. I am bad tempered on the road
   Traffic jams drive me crazy, I have thoughts of banging all the cars right in front of me if I was the driver. I could even try to wind down the windows and shout," move it!" Don't mention to me about pedestrians, I hate J walkers (although I am one of them).

Back to school tomorrow!

It's long ever since I went back to poly, missed the food, missed the smell of the air-con in the library and lastly, missed the strict rules they implement on us. Never got the chance to step into our library's very own cafe. Most of the time I would be standing outside peeking in to see if there are seats available for me and at the same time take in a whiff of caffeine to wake up my senses.

Aah oh yes, and our subsidised macdonald's. Hee, I know school life is so unhealthy. It's funny to think that I don't get fat when I am in school instead I get plump during attachment. Yeah, I don't know how am I going to maintain my shape when I go out into the workforce. Just imagine the stress and my poor coping habits. GOSH!! I already have problems squeesing into tiny corners.

Planned to go back tomorrow to borrow some books on med-surg nursing, yeah, lost touch on all my year 2 knowledge. I hate it when I can't answer my lecturer's questions intelligently because I use all the layman terms. Have to impress them abit with my latin/ greek. Wahhaha.

Side track, have being thinking about people who pair up nurses with doctors as couples. In actual fact, most nurses think doctors are bunch of stuck up people in general. Mainly because they think too highly of themselves and can't be bothered to condescend to us, nurses. The worse part is their freaking handwriting and meaningless jargons/ abbrieviations. Simple medications like panadol don't even look like panadol but phnadl. Yeah, I know I complain too much. But it's rediculous. Doctors for now in my hospital are much better than the previous one.

Lecturer labelled me lousy when I can't read their handwriting. Oh man....

I have always wanted to have a day whereby I do all the things I can't do when I am having school and attachment. I was puppeted by school for 6 months! Whatever the school wants us to do, we have to follow. Doris Chan says we have to submit legal documents if we need to change shift or change posting, no matter what we have to listen to her. If we are sick or unfit for work, we pretend to be healthy. YES, we pretend! That's because if we that any MCs, we have to do our replaced postings on saturdays.

What life do we have? So, finally my dream came true. I did alot of things today!

1. Cut my hair. Had waited for months to trim that long hair of mine simply because during attachment, it's difficult to bun up my hair if it has many layers. And when I do my dressings, my hair just flies here and there
   The hair dresser really wasn't very service oriented. She kept pulling that black face on me and I felt pretty irritated because I have that impression that I owe her a living. Well, even if I haven't ate lunch for the whole day, I could at least put up a weak smile. People nowadays are so negative.
2. Plucked my eyebrows. I finally got my disgusting eyebrows shaped for good. Was served by a skillful beautician, she pluck eyebrows like firing a machine gun. It's that fast! Admires her skills.
3. Bought my friend her christmas present.
4. Watched Open Season. My rating: 4/5. There were times I laughed hysterically till people around me were staring at me.
5. Pireced my nose. Found my friends with nose studs cool because it's the mark of feminism. lolx... Knew that my brothers really couldn't accept it but soon they will becuase it's just one more hole in my nose thats all. 我的哥哥是乖乖牌。It's up to you to treat like a norm or a taboo.

Hmmm, music essentials is having a sale!!!! Going back to that shop again soon.

MAnic disorder

Currently suffering from manic disorder. Sometimes I am real high, I can laugh in the face of danger, absolutely altered affect. My laughter is hysterical like the ones of a hyena. I really want the days to pass as quickily as possible, am so so depressed.

EXAMS are killing me, cramping doesn't work on me. Maybe believing in that hideous dream was right, I am going to just answer 2 questions out of 3 and leave the rest of the MCQ blank. No one can save me now, my days started darkening every minute. Curtains and curtains of shadows are shading my line of sight.

if I really die tomorrow, I will live as a zombie, an undead. To live is always about seeing the sun rise everyday but from tomorrow onwards, everything would be like a darken shroud

haiz... I am really really glad I can blog! Stuck outside my house, nowhere to go.... I don't know what's wrong with me today. I forgot to bring my keys, my handphone and my pencil box. That's really crap because

1. I have impaired communication
2. impaired sense of security
3. I want to watch 王子变青蛙 But I can't !

='[

After realising how useless and stupid I was for not bringing those essential things, I went to the yishun library. I can't really call it a library because THEY DON'T HAVE DECENT TABLES FOR STUDYING SAKE! I have to share a space with a bunch of uncles reading newspaper. It isn't any great to sit next to a bunch of uncles who flip newspapers noisily and blowing random jets of air at my face.

I was really tolerating. The stupidiest thing that the library did was to sacrifice 2 tables for reading newspaper, considering those were the only decent tables in the whole entire library. Yishun library is the first library that I find newspapers on leash! How could they treat them like dogs? Well, I think this is really a very idiotic ideal. The "poor" ah peks have to shift from on seat to another just to read a different newspaper. How crapish is that?

Har.... All I know is that the uncles that live near the library are so poor until they can't even afford 80 cents to buy themselves newspaper. TOOTs.....

I think the uncle bau toh me and told the librarian that I was occupying the space and not using it for reading newspaper. Oh whatever! Anyway, the librarian directed me to the multipurpose room. This time, the tables were all for squating down and the one with chairs had no leg space, bad for the back! So I gave up and stomped out of that place.

Trying my luck, I picked up the public phone and dialed my home no. To my dismay, nobody picked it up. Next I rang up my brother who had the highest possible chance that he could come home early. Unfortunately, the way he sounded on the phone gave me the impression that staying outside for a longer period would be a better idea.

So I thought, where the hell should I go now? The options were northpoint, woodland's library.

both didn't suit me. I suddenly realised how great my school's library was, so I decided to go back to school. HAIZ>

Gosh, I can't believe how shitty I feel right now! The people around me really sucked. All of them, haiz.... Tupid Avrel wrecked my thoughts, I am attracted to any guy already. All of them sucked in my opinion.

Happiness only last for a moment and depression seemed like forever. If I ever manage to get happy again, I will let that moment be so memoriable

Sian.ZzZzz.....

I have to blog in school because I had came early to get my psychomotor skills perfected. Yeah, I know I am a pretty kiasu person in general but I have to really practise alot to increase my confidence during the skills assessment. But my friends didn't even bother to come because they were just doing what a normal human should do; be self-centred and 如我为中心， 目中无人。I can't blame them for being like that because we are people who are always turning towards the dark side.

Darn... How come my heart just says that I am really going to be a pathetic splinster forever just like niao ka bell. Yesterday, I was reading about why some women always gets the same guys for their steads then in my mind was thinking, "one guy also don't have, then think so much about making a list on what types of guys I have, what attributes I want from a guy" So sucks loh, life. Don't even to stand a chance for such things. Darn, am I fated or something? When some things really don't work out to the way I want them to be, I just to say I am a person of isolation. Those couples holding hands and stuff really makes me feel like crap.

Am I that pathetically hopeless? Although my friend, Av*** really treats me damn nice but he is still trying to keep a distance from me. Yeah, I can sense it. Why do I always have to suffer all these useless emotional threats? Maybe I am just being cursed by this pathetic skin. I wonder why people are so darn practical when it comes to integrument disorders. People don't care about obesity, height, stupidity but integrument disorder are just a nono to people out there.

Haiz... Nothing is going to cheer me up. Since there is nobody active in hyper relay, then nobody is there to crap about. I mean why do I still bother to think about him almost 24 hour in a day? It's practically useless and it has no future. I just have to prevent myself from making myself daydream about me geting intimate with someone because basically nobody truely give a damn about dirt.

I don't want to think anymore! Why do I bother to help people anyway? I get nothing back in return and I am still treated like dirt!

darn.. I can't access to the xanga website. However, there is an access to blogger. What's the meaning of this? This is purely unfair. Haizz...

I think I am abit of stupid today. I keep daydreaming and my eyes can't stop feeling so heavy. If there is a bed right infront of me, I would collapse right in front of it now. Now I know my memory is really failing me ever since I knew that I suddenly forgot my school's password. If that is so, I will not have much faith in myself in remembering simple things.

If my brain has a defragment program, I will clear away those useless memories like those I was in great pain. If I could install it, that would make my life much easier. I won't dwell on the unnecessary. That's because I have too many regrets in my life.