Still awake?

It's 2.30 am in the morning and i am still awake. Why? I had the best chance today and i lose it? A chance to ask my friend for a treat. I always wanted it for months. I couldn't. Yes, I couldn't. I wasn't afraid to ask but my narrowminded thought stopped me.

Come to think of it, i was so idiotic. Why? My threshold of jealousy is so high. I can't stand people who are happy and i'm not. Don't you think it's a normal behaviour. Alright, i shall stop putting y0u on supend. My friend was talking with a person i hate the most. That person gave me a very bad first impression. I can't stand people who mingle with those i hate.

So self-centred of me! It beats being human. Having feelings sucks! Why do i have feelings? It is full of jealousy.

A sacrifice that i have to bear

I agree that my blog is having whiny complains consecutively but nevertheless, my work is never satisfying. Apart from having a productive cough( which is a good sign that i am recovering), my fingers tremble like a vibrated handphone.

Work complain 1
I can't believe the people working at the main building of motorola, those that help increase productivity and save company's cost.

These are the people working in the offices, siting down infront of their PC. I wish they could do a better job as in to help us get things done smoothly. Today i saw the trancievers( in another words handphones not sold yet), stored in battery door trays. These trays were flimsy and unstackable. If you won't careful, the trancievers might fell to the ground and you would waste time matching IMEIs(the ID for each trancievers).

I think they did this was because of cost saving. But in the end, they are not at all saving any cost if the trancievers break. Are they running out of ideas?

Work complain 2
This was the reason why my fingers are trembling. There was a box made of tinted plastic was as hard as cardboard. I have to use all my strength to press it down. Some times, my fingers even got crammed. It just won't move.People who increase Productivity should order boxes that is more flexible.

`EnD oF CoMplAiNs~

I glad you skipped the complains. I paid $25 for the chalet and I didn't go because i wanted to make money. A sacrifice for the sake of future happiness. If you guys see this (i know nobody reads my blog), please stab me in the face for being a very selfish person.

My friend SMS me this at 7 pm( while i was working)

Man Yun, tmr we r
going 2 escape theme
park, r u coming?

After reading this message several times i could cry, " I must sacrifice all the fun for my future". Can you sense jealousy? I am totally in regret for a moment, but it seems that i really won't feel good if i am having fun when other people are working. If any of you read this, please punch me in the face when school reopen.

At some point, i felt i must pay people back for what i have promised. There was this personality workshop i had in seconday school. the letters each represent a personality,
D, I, S, C. After learning psychology in poly this year, i had to disagree with this workshop. I fall in the catergory of the S. S people are conscience-driven. We will always remember our promises even for 10 years.

So now i am feeling pain when i didn't keep my promise. For 8 months, i owe someone a treat that i promise. I am going to sms the person by tomorrow or else i would be so haunted. I wish he will accept it. Keke, food.... Who doesn't want it?

What a bad day... Sick and braindead

Mood :::: dead::::

Just came back from work as usual... no wait! today is the worse day of my life. Now as i am typing, i am sneezing profusely. I am so sick and my body can't take it. ( It's too used to been healthy). I can't believe 3 days of work and i am sneezing like this. No sooner i would be down with hyperthermia.

Had recovered from sore throat and now i am having ineffective airway clearance, BLOCKED NOSE and a runny nose. What's the meaning of this? Taking turns? One after another. I bet the next stop is another wave of dry cough.

I will not finish this entry if had to relate all that had happened to me today. It's too much to complain.

Good news...
We always start with the good news, had seen my results and i was pretty happy with it. Why do i need to pursue further? I have did my best. My friend got a distinction and i was jealous for a moment just now. This whole thing is so unfair, i can't choose my group members and group work helps alot in getting good marks. Some of my group members stink. 2 of 7 are slackers, 1 is a very and i mean 1 hour late comer.

This is so unfair. Why do i bother in the first place? In the long run, all i need to do is to be a good staff nurse and thats it. If i carry on somemore, this will never end .

Clean my hamster's cage. Har.. this seem stupid to you but it needs lots of morale to clean that dirty cage. What i mean is 75% of my time at home is at low morale. Lucky i had Bui Bui to boost me.

Signed up for OT( over time) today. Money !!! Yeah!!

Now for the bad news,
I was tortured at work from 4pm to 11pm. 7 hours, great scotts. Standing at a table and doing my work with a "robot". First of all i stupidly drank some leftover juice from the frige and had diarrhoea at home. From then i started having a cold.

The Air conditioning was turned up to the max today. About 10 degrees. I am at the table with stacks of undone handphones stood before me. There was a suction motor just 1.5 meters away from me. It was emiting wind, adding to the cold. For 7 hrs, i was suffering from these threats. My group leader (GL) whose name is Li ping, kept forcing me to do fast by scolding me, "hou xiang yao si bu huo de"(working like a zombie). One worse thing was my runny nose kept having mucus and my paper napkin supply ran out at the first hour.

SO JIA LAT (unlucky), i was like wishing someone would come over to rescue me from this. Yes, someone did! The time flew fast and i am safe at home already.

Heres a brief history of my working place now...
Not 9 months ago, i worked in a building called Tech-Point. It was meant for storing all the goods and be well ready for shipment. Life was simple and there wasn't any stress. All we did was changing the labels and slacking around.

At that point in time, i really thought my life was at its climax. The QA(quality assurer) was friendly, group leader(GL) was my friend. Everything that was out of the norm can be done, such as using the manual forklifter as a kickscooter for travelling in the warehouse and eating great food(KFC, Pizza Hut, Etc...), doing all the things that the QA does, having 1 hour breaks.

Doesn't that felt like heaven? happiness doesn't last forever.

Thinking back all these fond memories, I shall never say i am mistreated at work. Sometimes I really want to get back all these happy times but thing has change, we can't turn everything back.

With the scent still lingering in that building, I could feel my memories still alive and the joy is intense.

A change that is too much

First of all, the working place is not motorola!! It's at tech point, damn it man. That was the building of memories i wish not to be remembered. Though i had joy and laughter, i must put everything behind and look into the future.

Once i stepped into the building a wiff of familarity rise up into my nose. I thought it wasn't good to collaborate thoughts that aren't going to happen. Why am i always wanting to reignite all my past? I suck.

Things really change alot! A production line was divided into 2, now 1. I first started my new form of life by opening boxes. 3 people was opening boxes for a single line. Then i thought how i manage to fold boxes for 2 lines all by myself. Nobody call me a good box folder for nothing.

I think i shall stop here for now. My feet is aching.

Oh great! Now they are getting poor.

Just had an interview for motorola this afternoon. I went there with high hopes and dreams all planned up for myself. Wanting everything in life, nice clothes, a new mobile, a new life. I made up a dream entirely flawless and smooth-sailing. As you can see, i am a person full of fantasy, never putting reality into consideration. The consequences had such an impact on me when i first heard the news.

Wonder what happened at the interview? you're about to find out. After a great hearty meal at S11, the coffeeshop, i peered at my watch, "11.30am, hmm 30 more mins to the start of the interview". My friend and I decided to have a walk before heading down to the Van to fill up the form.

I thought that walk was the best of the day, there was so much hopes and estasy. The road to the van was the longest ever, from afar i could see a crowd of people gathering around the van that was suppose to be the beginning of a new life of temporary work.

My heart raced when i saw the fresh 'O' level leavers filling up the form even with their uniform. "why aren't they at home replenishing their energy". One of them was from a school that were a stone throw away from my house.

I've got the application form with the help of my friend. I hesitated several times while filling up the form.

1. the shift of work (Wasn't too difficult though, i've always wanted morning)
2. the company i have been employed before. (There was a drip of sweat while filling this part, my friend told me to write the truth about the motorola employment, the reason was that it will increase the chance of getting the job)
3. the education (i wanted them to believe i was going to work till june so that i could be hired, i was a big fat lie though)

That's all, it seems that all these information was very essential for the HR to consider everything. It was time.

It was time to hand up the form to the agent to get it endorse. I presented my IC, to him. He wasn't a stranger to me at all. I could recognized him from afar although he wasn't my agent last year. He had that street punk look, as what we call, "ah beng".

There was so much info that i couldn't take it:

"Now motorola is sub-contracted. There may not be many places for you. I would want to recomend you to seagate for a 12 hours/day job. Erm, sorry but you are still 17, they can only hire people 18 and above."

What is the meaning of only 18 and above? ain't this a practice of ageism? What matters is the actual age of the person's mentality. Ah, nevermind. I can let this go. However, there was one thing i was fully astounded by.

"the transport for motorola is out of contract. Only for seagate." He said firmly

I can't believe it! why must motorola do this. This was when i felt that my flawless plan had been wracked. The only company that have transport to the ground floor of my block. Haizz...Things do change for the worse. I didn't consider economy before making a dream. It's so heart-breaking to accept the facts.

I had enough of this horrible news, it had spoilt my day. I finished Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire after reading the second time. All the misunderstanding of the story was clear. I felt so sorry for cedric, handsome and kind people don't live long. Just a command of you-know-who's wand, you are dead."Avada kedavra " and the next minute you aren't breathing and dead without knowing anything.

Cedric was only trying to be noble to let Harry have the cup. If only harry was firmer abit and touch it himself and he won't be pulling cedric down with him. No one would had suppected mad -eye moody was a fraud. Crouch's son was a faithful death eater so loyal as to plan out everything so well. At first I thought Harry winning all the while was not part of the plan. What an irony. J.K rowling has live up to her name.

After i week of a good fantasy book, i was starting to have wierd dreams. 1 dream was about doing something out of good will and not by choice. I was helping someone against my benefit to make everyone happy. I hated these dreams, they seem so realistic.

Have to end this entry right here for now. Good luck everyone in NYP for the results on 25nov!!!