15 mins before I get out of the house...

Haizz.. Going to the beach later with my tutorial group. I suddenly feel so unsociable because I have that feeling of dread that's because there is a briefing tomorrow at my hospital. I will have to say bye bye soon because I am going to alexandra hospital in november. I wish the staff nurse there would teach me everything they know.

Yeah! I want that for another year ahead (for me).
New wish list coming up.

Argghh... inner lip hurts

My adult tooth is proturding to find a place to park in my upper jaw. The problem here is that there is really no space left for that sad tooth and it's all because of those wisdom teeth at the back taking up alot of space.

Can't the wisdom teeth give way to this poor tooth?

Take a look at this icon:


"oh no, I am actually reading about a blogger that is a vampire!!" You might exclaimed. Yes, a vampire has arose from her coffin! That's me! Rarrr.... *moves heavily with arms swinging back and forth*

You shall see me right behind your back about now!! Ah... ah... Don't turn your back because I can just make your last moments more gory.

alright I will stop being so crappy. I love to write fantasy but I have no time to do that. When would I be able to do what I like to do? Look at the time: 11.45am! Cries... There's really no time for myself. I want to write about love stories.

GOL, answer me these pending questions!

1. Why am I getting too soft hearted and charitable although I know that they will forget my good deeds and they step onto my head?
2. Why do you keep giving me chance to make me and bee meet?
3. Why is dee neglecting me?
4. Why do I still feel tortured when i see happy couples?

GOL will never answer my questions, he only give me clues. I have to explain everything myself. For no. 1, probably I pity people with family problems because I used to have family problems too. I pity people who already knew their death day and want them to enjoy the life spend in this world. Haiz... You must know that I am leaning against a very unstable mattress. I am afraid to speak up and let people know what I want from them.

If only I had a concrete support system, I will feel more confident because there is someone behind me help me feel belonged.

She said I have changed!

How could she say that?

"I realised that money can do a lot to a person - good or bad. I saw my
friend in school today. She just got sponsered by a hospital. And, wow... New
hairstyle, new bag, new handphone. I must say that her new hair makes her look
rather pretty. Oh, well. I guess money does make the world go round..."

-ScarletSong

Just look at that! Seeing me with new things doesn't mean I've changed because of money. Oh god, why do people always misinterpret my appearance? Everything she mentioned wasn't even from my pocket!!! (thanks for the compliment on my hair, I loved it too!)

And that hairstyle, erm... Colour- free, Cut-$25 That's all that came out from my pocket. I had to change my handphone, you can't expect me to use that Nokia 2100 for another 2 years? The handphone ain't any special, it's not like I am holding a 3G phone.

Hey, I need a new bag! My old bag can't even carry an A4 sized lecture notes in place. She forgot to mention my new t-shirts. Oh, they were something that I need to deter people from think that I have a very limited wardrobe. God of Luck, why am I so underestimated?

Talk about people buying original music(which I've always wanted to do), buy a dozen of comics for $5 each and expensive skin care! I have been squeezing my money too much and I can't take it anymore when people say such things to insult my actual intentions.

I work too hard for money to achieve whatever I want in order to sacrifice the fun with my friends when they were in chalet. I even got terribly sick from working too much. My life is such a tragic, 悲剧. When I really want something, I have to work terribly hard for it. Why won't it come to me just like that?

Now you know why people in my secondary school always get the wrong meanings from me.

I bet the bee I have always being talking about had also misinterpreted my mannerisms. I wish I can go inside their system and upload everything I want them to know about me.

I can't escape from torture!

Experiencing love sick and numerous torture from seeing people having a good relationship. I had stepped into the second stage of torture whereby I had that feel of unfairness. Hoping I could the back the time, I would prefer not knowing the bee at the first place. I actually escaped from the jaws of deep love for the first time but my luck never struck twice.

I feel really suffocated by unwanted love. I want to drink 孟婆的忘情水. I want to erase everything that happened between us because he is destructing my life. I was going on a happy-go-lucky for 1 and a half years without experiencing it once again.

I hope the bee would tell me, " I hate you, I don't want to be your friend. " That way I will go on with my life. Why didn't he call me the way dee does? Why? Then I would just end that conversation without any hard feelings.

"That's good! Hate me as much as you can because I regret being touched by you." Please include this in the list of regrets I had for the 3 week holiday.

Never talk about your social life to me!!!

I will feel tortured. Read this story of mine.

Yesterday, I told my friend that the biggest mistake in my life is to step into my secondary school. I told her, "我觉得当时我已经走错路了。不然，我就不会到这种地步."

Sigh. Why do I always feel that I don't belong to anywhere? Where ever I go, I feel out of place. At least, my life now is better than before. I used to live in a world where the people around me are cold or nasty. There's this voice saying, "You don't belong here, go away!"

There's one time at an event, it was a maths trail. No one wanted to made me become their member. I just pick any group by following to where ever they go. They didn't feel sorry for me and moreover insult my inteligence by saying nasty things. They tried means and ways to trash me.

Luckily, I was too ignorant to care much about them. What really hurt me the most was when that person, WT, called me 跟壁虫 to my friend who knew me during primary school. Don't you think that person is nasty? What have I done wrong to deserve this?

That year, one by one all my friends became to leave me. I feel so devastated. Am I that unpopular? I even thought WT spread rumours and everyone hated me like I was some kind of a virus. There was an evidence that proved everything.

WT's friend accidentally touched me and she retracted offensively and WT said," 不用怕！回家洗下藻就可以了。" Pure prejudice! In my life I've never seen such an ass before. Since then, I hated life. I yelled to the mirror everytime I went home.

"Why... Why must I face such prejudice in my life? I never chose to be like this." For some days, I didn't dare look into the mirror. All I was going to see was a person who had suffered contempt. I didn't liked the person I was controlling because the real me is different from what people see from my shell.

When I went on to secondary three, I thought I was free from my enermies. However, there was a side effect, my class was all cold and unfriendly, they mingled only with their previous classmates and once again, I was alone again. The classmates that knew me were even colder and vicious.

Is this how fate had arranged for me?

I can obtain anything but... Social wise, I am beaten. You will never know me through your friends because my social network is so limited. In secondary school, there were these very few words that I vandalise on tables:

1. life sux
2. chinese stinks
3. 好心没好报

That's all! It's a tragic to be me. I worked hard and everyone treated it like I am an extra to this society. I had a best friend during secondary school and she was a really sensitive person. We quarrelled once a month but we still got together. Once she scolded me 活不耐烦。 I felt that was really heart breaking. Well, now I can admit to that because you people keep taking advantage of me.

A bad start for me in poly I suppose. When people say about their private and social life, I felt tortured. I had never experienced it.

I used to think that what I see in people is that simple and striaghtfoward. I am starting to change this mindset already. I will now learn to speak in simple vocab to strangers because I know using too much chim language could hurt their intelligence.

Lotz and lotz of photos for you to see!!

ok, I just signed up for a new M1 line under my name. I've got a handphone which I felt was really modern. It has everything I ever wanted on a phone; bluetooth, camera, great games colour, videocam. **This entry has pictures that help me do the talking***

An S65 from Siemens. I love it.




This is the walkway just beside my house. Looks pretty like an abyss. I used to dream of the staircase to the ground floor was like endless, I couldn't reach. My cam protrays Singapore as a clean city with smooth and shiny floors. haha.



Two days ago, I went to this japanese resturant at cineleisure. This is the menu. I made it sound like some high class eatery but if you know what I am talking about, it can only compared to a coffeeshop. I ate the Soba which can also be known as 冷面(cold noodles). Hey, it's cheap and delicious.



This is a screenshot from a drama series I bought recently, 千金百分百, 100% senorita. This is the part where Peter Pan, 潘彼德 experience a downfall in his life. The person he wanted to kill didn't die and she is back to take revenge. The other guy is his colleague, someone who supports everything he does but feels that the chairman, 桩飞扬 is such an empty shell.



A very sad scene in the drama. Peter pan refuses sha sha's love. She was very good at showing her hatred and everything. Ok, I want to say this to every script writer who writes dramas; Why must you always end a person's life with a terminal disease? Out of 5 dramas I watched, 4 of them had their main characters dying from a terminal disease. Which I think, this type of plot is becoming a cliche to me.

Ok, Here is my IDOL!!!

Yeah!! Wallace huo, 霍建华, he's got those really attractive eyes and those lip no other guys have. Yup, extreme charming look. His music rocks too.

*stoping here for now. Going to my aunt's house.*

Ok, I am back. My aunt scolded me for nothing. She said that I made the administator let other people know about her monthly pay by faxing to the wrong places. I argued back by saying the truth; My aunt gave me the wrong number to fax. How can she blame me??? Then she turn the subject away by saying that the administrator was not doing her job well. What the hack???

When someone grows older, they start to lose their understanding (智慧). She never understand that she is in the wrong. This is crazy! She even complain to my mom and made me sound like the murderer. Argh...

Back to showing you pictures.

This is Joe Chan acting as 梁小凤. I have always liked that smile of hers. She is really good at acting. I love the way she express every emotion.

In this show,

I feel that good guys will eventually become bad guys and the bad guy learns to be good which I think is a very original plot. At some point, I pity the bad guy, peter pan. She tried to murder fei yang because he needed revenge. At first, I pitied fei yang because she 一无所有。However, she wants to 一脚踢开 my idol so that he won't feel sad a about her death.

Haha, I know I am being too revealing. I don't care! This is my blog, I can do anything to it. Tomorow would be the start of my school semester Boredom. It is going to be a very bumpy ride.