GOL, answer me these pending questions!

1. Why am I getting too soft hearted and charitable although I know that they will forget my good deeds and they step onto my head?
2. Why do you keep giving me chance to make me and bee meet?
3. Why is dee neglecting me?
4. Why do I still feel tortured when i see happy couples?

GOL will never answer my questions, he only give me clues. I have to explain everything myself. For no. 1, probably I pity people with family problems because I used to have family problems too. I pity people who already knew their death day and want them to enjoy the life spend in this world. Haiz... You must know that I am leaning against a very unstable mattress. I am afraid to speak up and let people know what I want from them.

If only I had a concrete support system, I will feel more confident because there is someone behind me help me feel belonged.