The best dream ever!

This morning, I have the best dream of my life(not quite sure though) the year. Guess wad?

• top notch results? no.
• father came back to life? no. I dream of him coming back to life every time.
• Somebody I hate broke up? no. This dream ain't about my evil thoughts.
• The clarinet teacher was cute and handsome? no. I wished!!!
• You found a boyfriend? No. you're quite close. This dream never happen in my life!

Ok, I will stop beating around the bush. But I shall tell you now!

My idol, Wallace huo, 告白 to me!!! Arrgghhh.... It was so cool! I even go steady with him, hhahaahaha. I can't believe I've been yearning for such a thing all this while. Haizz, 幸好我有做白日梦的空间。

This stupid world is so fast-pace, in my life, no guy likes me. That doesn't matter cause I don't like guys too! Childish and frickled minded.

简直是进退两难！

刚才，我写了两段被除丢了。追进，我的网际网络的线有点不稳。真可惜。看了《海豚湾恋人》的第三次，我发现泽亚是个很可怜的人，他做什么都是失败的。他认为做某些事对天边好，反而使她更痛苦。

我今天本来想写出我的悲伤的日子，但现在一点心情也没有。我这一辈子就是逃避委屈的现实吗？我想过当泥古，寻找珍爱是一种浪费时间的白日梦。新加波的男人个个比不上我的条件，都是两面蛇。一天说跟你走天涯海角，第二天宣布分手。

人好残忍。以后我绝对当一只禽兽，只懂得杀，填饱肚子。

My life stink!

Yes! Watching more of dolphin bay can't help feel more hopeful of life. Although I finally bought my first MP3 player, my day was still very dull. I can't find my electronic dictionary! I searched everywhere for it. I suspected it was my cousin who took away my dictionary to play games. Then I thought I kept it away from his reach.

This is hell, I start to have bad short term memory and sensory memory. When people talk to me I forget everything in 10 secs.

I want an MP3 player!

I am in a fix! I don't know what to buy; Zen, Ishuffle, muvo or something brandless that is cheap and has a 1 gb memory. I can't choose. When I take people's advise, I feel that they are sometimes very bias. Some of them are choosing something because they are willing to spend and some of them choose something that they think is of brand and not it's ability.

There are times that I want a good brand and there are times when I want a brand that doesn't burn a hole in my pocket. I feel frickled minded. I am afraid that I might regret after buying. Making a wise market decision is difficult when I really feel I have a lack of money.

I feel that I have loss the ability to spend money like water. That's because the money I am having now is not mine but the government's. My subconscious self just want to prevent me from spending unnecessarily. Argghh.. I am strangled and restrained.

My semestral break is coming

Yeah! more freedom. I can wake up at whatever time I want, no restrictions. I really don't know how to cope in 2 years time when I am promoted to a staff nurse. I hate mornings, I feel all so tired and moody. Out of a year, I have only 14 days for leave. Now that I am having 62 days holiday and I still feel that it wasn't enough for me.

I always forgot sick leave. But still being sick just makes you feel worse. I hate to bed sick. I wish the government would give us more leave so that we can have motivation to work. Even GPs work 7 days a week. My GP is a really hard working person. Doesn't he need a break?

After earning so much money, he doesn't take a break and go for a holiday. Some times I think a five day week is really just enough to restore all my energy.

***

I wonder how am I going to break free from that sense of loss I experience 2 years ago. There are so many things trying to make me feel even worse thinking about it. Who is willing to help me out? How could GOL leave me in the wilderness and let me die on my own without pathways to lead me out of it?

The memory is still so clear in my mind when I saw the place when my dad and I cycle to before he was bed-ridden. It felt like yesterday we went to the park to cycle along the canal and discover the sunset in the countryside. We used to dig for gold at the vending machine. At least, I am still alive to retain such a meaningful experience.

My beautiful Birthday Presents!

You will be experiencing a very bad lag because I am puting up all the pictures of my presents up! How shall I arrange my presents? Most interesting to the most boring? The ever first present to the last present that was given to me? Or maybe the excited intensity?

I think by the most closest person!

The Ang Pow

My mom whom I think deserve my greatest respect. She brought me up in her womb, to the time I was really a burden to her and now she hasn't given up on caring for me after so much trouble I created for her. For every white hair strand I see was a product of my foolishness. She sacrifice her freedom to take care of me when I needed someone to be by my side and calm my angry rashes. She thought me all the values which no one would care to teach me. Thank you mom! Love you lots and lots!

The art of Howl's Moving Castle

My 2nd elder really rocks. I love him so much after he bought me this wonderful gift that I was about to buy. He really have telepathic skills. Gosh, I bet it's really hard to learn that skill. Probably I was babbling to him about this book subconciously. haha.. I talk too much and some times don't even know what the hell I am talking about. Thanks alot fu! You do rock in your music.

Hey, take alot inside:

The art is so cool! You can't stop saying "WAH!"

The smiley 玩业

This picture consist of 2 presents. One is my elder brother and the other is my wonderful secondary school friend. Do you think that the people around me are really influenced by my character? Both of them bought me pink and they are of the same company. The problem is that I have affinity to this product. But still, thanks alot Lang and Yating.

Roald Dahl Children Books

My friend Jane was pretty observant as to understand I am a lover of children books. Yup, I was a fan of Roald Dahl and I have almost completed reading all his books, so happens I never get the chance to read Charlie and the chocolate factory because I left that book as my last choice of read. hhahaa..

The windmill wrapped pot

Hend and Denise combine forces and gave me this work of art. I loved the way it was wrapped and believe me, this is the first present in my life that was wrapped into a windmill. Thank you!

My belated birthday rocks!

I am sorry that I am unable to post the pictures of my birthday presents today because I feel pretty lazy after a 2 hour night lesson. Tomorrow I will have plenty of time to do so. First, I would like to thank all my wonderful friends today; Jane, Denise, Hend and of course yating.

They really cheered me up after what happened on saturday which was so awful. They gave me a very good suprise today, I mean wOw I didn't expect a birthday cake this year manz and they did it for me! I loved them now, after what they planned for me. I feel that I am such a hypocrite.

I used to think that they are not what they seem but now, I take back my words. Tomorrow, I shall show you the pictures of all my lovely presents.

Happy Birthday to me

On saturday I really had a very bad allergy attack. From morning to night, I was secreting mucus profusively. There I thought, why now? Just before my 18th birthday? I was forced to pop in antihistamine pills. I tried the non-side effects pills and it didn't work.

The only choice for me is the side effect one. I took it at 8 pm and I planned to make my birthday wish at 12am however, I started to feel drowsy at 11.30am. I feel as if I was floating in the air, stars started appearing before my eyes.

The following day (which was my birthday), I feel extremely moody. My other self kept shouting, it's your birthday! Why aren't you excited? The effects of the drug hasn't stopped and I feel as if sleep was the only way. What a terrible day I had yesterday.

Actually, it wasn't that bad. My brother brought a present that I wanted the first time I set my eyes upon it; "The art of Howl's Moving Castle". I couldn't contain my feelings the moment I saw the title written on a heavily coloured book. I loved everything about the movie even the bad guys.

After looking through the pictures, I nearly had that urge to watch the movie again (not to mention, I watched it twice on screen). You can never get enough watching such breath taking movies like "The Cats return" and "Spirited away" that's because the art really ROCKS the audience.

I really have to wrack my brains hard to buy a present to give back my brother that cost more than $60.

Eventful day

A 20 year old brother that still watches anime? Arghh, can he grow up? I know inuyasha is ending its screening on art central today and I am sniggering my heart out silently. What for be so faithful to some kids show by sacrificing your sleep? It's so not worth it!

Some things are so harmful and you don't even know about it only when something bad happens. Why are singaporean guys so into anime? They are fictious and exaggerated. There's this guy in my tutorial group that keeps showing off his "Bleach" Character pictures. Some people can go to an extend in doing cosplay about their favourite characters.

GET A LIFE! Don't you have something more important to do? Anime can't enrich your future but ruin it. You may say that I never understand what it's like to be a fan to anime. You're truely wrong! I used to be a fan to Card captor sakura and I think I wasted too much time on it. My life is full of regrets. Just ask yourselves this questions, "What does this do good to me?"

Your ans may be, " I always feel happy seeing my characters!" Ya, so? Do you know this feeling wears off after time and thing become so boring that you start regreting you ever started being a fan to it.

***

My shin hurts badly after a fall. My sandals had no friction and I have this bad habit of racing down the stairs. I already knew I was going to fall but I just wanted to test these sandals whether they are that frictionless. Yes, I have proven that my sandal are fall-risk! Great, what a good guinea pig I was. Conforming to a stupid test.

Then, my friend got a bad fever and she felt drowsy on the train. It was such a pity we didn't take neoprints with her because she was totally gorgeous from top to toe.

I went shopping with another friend and something really bad happened to me. I lost her discount card 10 mins after she signed up for it. You won't understand how flustered I was when I looked into my hands and the wrinkles on it stared back at me like, " You're missing something..."

***

2 more days to my birthday!

Sensored material

Yup, I just made 17 entries as Private entires! I know that's alot. Doing all this have it's benefits:

1. Nobody will be offended
2. When I see them, I will feel terribly sad
3. I can keep them

Yeah, That's really great. Now I can feel really sure of myself that no one will come knocking on my door or burning my front door. These 17 entries include material that will make both the person I wrote and me really offended. When time flies I shall go through them again and laugh out loud.

I got this idea from the book, Harry potter and the half blood prince. Slughorn had this really ashamed memory that he sensored it. Master at occulmens, Slughorn's memory was unable to be retrived by dumbledore who did legimens on him.

I puck up some courage...

To sign up for music lessons today. I feel really good about myself. You know why? While I was planning to go plaza singapura, there was this guy at the locker that resembled bee alot and these words came into my mind, "Oh no. What is he doing here? Paint that smile on your face now!" My unconsiousness controlling me! I hate when I have to react like that even though that person wasn't bee. "I must forget him completely"My consious self shouted.

I was ten times more glad that person wasn't bee or else I won't be signing up the music course. Nobody really understand what kind of life I have been through. I have been hiding from people all my life and they expect me to vocal out my thoughts like anyone else. Talking is easy for them and not for me.

Take alot at this(if you can, click on it):


I became so happy when I recieve the membership card. Note the card glowing in yellow! Yup, I have always wanted that piece of plastic ever since I stepped into a Yamaha Store. But the discount is so puny! a mere 5% which is so pathetic.

However that piece of plastic really make my day. It's so prestigious like a raffles country club card. I suddenly feel I belong to somewhere that I thought I was living in denial for 2 years. I got to thank my good old friend jocelyn for introducing me to a world of music.

When I left the band, I thought I was free from a burden that I lay upon myself purposely from the start. To my suprise, it was actually my biggest mistake in life to do so. Band was the only place I ever feel belonged. People who don't look at appearance but the knowledge of music. I truely regretted wholeheartly.

I thought I shouldn't go back to my old life because it won't be the same. This thought wasn't a solution for me. The thought of being back to the group deepens. That's when I know I have to go back to music which I belong.

I grow up in an environment of music. My mom and dad knew each other by playing the er hu. My dad exposed me to the power of music by leting me play with his portalsound. From then, I grew interest for music. I could play notes from the score without knowledge of it. (don't I sound like a prodigy from a poor family).

***

Back to the picture, it's time for complains. Do you see that wiggly arrow with a bird siting on top of it? The receptionist ask me to buy that book from the Yamaha and I was shocked that this teacher (darted) didn't order that book before asking people to buy one. What the hack? What is this?

Mr lim XX sound really like a 30+ yr old guy. Part of his name had my irritating cousin's name and the other part had an irritating classmate's name too! I bet this teacher must be somehow irritating. Good gracious! I hope he ain't some sissy like that guy in woodlands. I think I am abit afraid of sissys.

***

I finished reading Harry Potter and the half blood prince and I think it stinks!!!! I mean it. The storyline irritates me. J.K. Rowling made both dumbledore and harry stupid idiots in this story. The dark side in this book had more glory. I somehow liked Draco Malfoy because of his brillance and he at least had some coinscience unlike snape who kills people like killing ants (but using an unforgivable curse; aveda kedavra)

Malfoy has got more emotions than any other characters. The trios are just doing the same old things like the last 5 books. I can't believe dumbledore has to die before reaching the last book. He is such a funny man.Can't he just stay around the picture frames like any other headmasters?

Fine! Since Singapore's resource is so limited

Yes! Singapore's resource is really limited till I have to do it their way. A free country eh? Where in the world can you find somewhere that won't have any group lesson for clarinet? Singapore stinks!

Next thing I will do would be to call and get the best timing and price! Heehee... Not bad eh? Cutiepie will always be one.

Ok, the only great timing would be sunday 4-5pm at yamaha.

Bean curd.

Toufu is a nick name for my brother. This name had a history way back when I was a 9 year old. My brother joined the boy scouts and he was a sixer. There was this junior the same year as me in his CCA.

After school, I would always wait for my brother before I go home. One day, this junior called his name loud, "TOUFU!" I was flabbagasted and voula a new chapter in his life began. haha... Something to start up a post.

Hey what the... A fly just when into my keyboard and that fly will die of dehydration. The end of another 2 weeks of attachment. Sigh, I didn't do any dressings. Life stinks.

Here's the start of my complain!!!

Why ain't there any grp classes?

I went to plaza sing to enquire about the clarinet classes. There ain't any group classes. I got really fed-up and nearly want to throw up. why there are group classes for flute and sax but not for clarinet and trumpet?

I just sent 2 emails to enquire on clarinet group classes. I hope one of them have group classes in them

Feeling really dreamy

I am really dream-oriented. This morning I dreamt I was yelling at the GL of motorola to let me join the band. NYP band rejects me and I feel really down. I want to join a band, something I am good at.

First, I went on the internet to find websites on wind organisations. I found a few but there is one bad thing about it, members who want to join the organisation have to audited and interviewed. There is a certain requirement:

1. Sight-reading. I can do that!Errmm, Not really confident about it.
2. 2 different pieces
3. some other tedious requirements.

So I thought taking up a instrumental lesson, here are some of the sites I considered:

• Yamaha music school I would put this as my first choice
• music concerto at bukit batok
• Mandeville Music and Drama at united square

Hmm... It's really difficult to decide.

Here are a few auditions of well known orchestras in singapore:

• philharmonic wind youth
• Mus'art wind orchestra

That's all but I can find out about my comunity club from my mom.