Tuesday, June 14, 2005

I feel suffocated once again

This isn't work or school. I am enjoying my vacation, man! You may think I have very high level of stress, can't take simple things easily. Wait till you listen to my side of the story.

It all started with a friend of mine. Lets call her Dee. She was like a stalk of flower that has rich nectar. A special type of nectar that attract bees of all kind. In this context, the bees are guys. I am the stalk of flower right beside her watching her joy and laughter. A very normal reaction would be jealousy.

Dee always do disgusting things in front of me, making me feel tortured.

In my life, the only type of bees are
  1. my brothers
  2. my colleagues in work
  3. cold shouldered classmates

That's all. Untill yesterday, I met a very friendly bee and he is very soft hearted person. However, I knew he was an oasis. No matter how you want to get to him, you won't able to get him. I bet all the other bees in the world that are friendly and soft hearted are oasis.

This then again make me feel is another torture to me. I always 自作多情 for no reason. I know I should feel that way but it keeps coming back. I wished to convert every bee to my brother. Then I wouldn't have to worry about having any BGRs. Having BGRs is disturbing. If only scientist can invent something that can make women concieve without the help of guys.

No couple love and heart breaking hatred will happen. Women can live on their own can carry on with their lifes.

This morning's dream was horrible. Once again, I had another dream about this person (read this damn person's entry). It felt like another continuation from the previous dream. This time Dee knew about my relationship with him. She was so furious that she was almost raising her voice at me. I even held his hands in public. OMG!!! How could I do that?

I even said I missed him when he wasn't around. What is my instincts telling me? I don't want anymore of the dream continuing. It's horrible and disgusting.

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