Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Ok, I am a goner...

Yes I am! I was related to a bad incident today; a poor patient fell. I have a deadly secret hidden inside me that I must not let anyone know it or else I would have to replace all my 15 days of attachment in that hellish ward.

It really felt like hell. No space to breathe, no space to voice my opinions. The staff were like the hell controllers. You really can't do anything to make them happy. Sometimes when the staff corrects my mistakes in a very angry tone, I just want to collapse and say, "Just shoot me!"

I make the most stupid mistakes untill I can't take it anymore. I am left on my own to solve my problems. Maria has got xin yi, chua has got Ee. Min er could have got her boy friend. What about me? Locked away in an isolation cell. It isn't easy to be me when the scary sister is always on your shift. She warns me over and over again about failing me.

Like what fatiah has said, " She drains the confidence out of you!" She has acomplished her mission. I have loss most of my confidence in geting my work done in pride. When the old lady, Aileen, noticed how I fed her, she knew that I had completely lost my confidence when I did my work. I jittered involutary.

The lecturer intends to report the fall incident to the clinical head of department, Doris Chan. She wants me to write a memo(report). I almost fainted to the ground. She said that would arm me from failing. I mean whatever! I won't becoming back to level 8 hell anymore!!! If I tell you everything, I am a very innocent person. Nothing points to me saying that I am at fault. What can I say, if someone wants you guilty, they will find different ways to get the truth hidden away from anyone.

After this incident, I bet everyone will not trust me anymore. Hey, who cares! I am left with 7 days. After this 7 days of pure torture, I am free from worries. If and I say if I am able to get out of this incident alive, no chains and locks tugging onto my hands.

I shall celebrate this occasion. The party will be called, "The end of misery". All I really want now is the patient to be completely well and get her discharged. I will be in great estasy.

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