Thursday, March 10, 2005

Sigh... No body speak up for me at home

Once again, I feel really miserable with everybody opposing to the things I love to do. Only person at home who stick up to me is my only solid support, dad. My mom gets irritated when I speak to her nowadays, simply because she is menopausing. She complains to be ill-fated, what the wonderfull childhood she had. She is always missing out the finer things in life.

She ignores me and always engage the conversation about herself. Who won't be irritated? Does life work like a ball. She is starting to act like a kid who is totally egocentric. A useless grumbling brother at home, he loves sticking up to my mom, and hates whatever I do. Not encouraging me in anything. *sobs* He laughs at my photoshop art, sad life. An anti-cutiepie.

I feel really disturbed by my dreams that pose a pseudo-relationship, first giving me false hope of that person and a clouded judgement. I want to stop dreaming at night.

My friend wants to join some community service thing. I really don't want them to repeat the same mistake as me. What's so good about cleaning tiolets and washing the dishes? You never get paid doing this. In fact, they are waiting for people to help them do their chores. How pathetic?

Am I an ophan to you? I feel that when people look at me, they see a bullied, firece dog. I came from a background whereby I was bullied many times until i made a stereotype on everybody.

I am now having anger and at the same time pity on a person. I have this strong urge to talk to XX person. I want to talk to someone about my problems, my life. Sadly nobody can compare to my dad.

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