Monday, March 28, 2005

Grr....

I am so angry about today until i could have blood coming out from my eyes, ears and mouth. Just wanting to take a rest when some selfish, stingy, self-centred asshole plays his darn guitar at a dreaded time in the night when I am having my beauty sleep!!!! I will tell you who he is. He's my useless brother who plays rhythmless, shallow and noisy "music" (I can't even call it music man!!! It's totally rubbish sound waves trashing my ears).

Today sucked and I want to drain it away with sleep when someone wakes me up to remind me how unlucky I am these few days. How cruel!! Firstly someone from the human resource of TTSH lied to me and my friends, then there's this groupmate that leech upon our grades. Who doesn't want to forget about all these using sleep?

Sorry for being crude but a tired man is an angry man. You must always bare that in mind. Damn him, BHB person. Does all guys have this mindset? Shameless and oblivious to people's feelings? I wonder!

Waking the dead is one thing, but my mom is one damn hypocrite man!!! I can't wake her up and she talks like hawkers when I am sleeping today. Why? She yelled at me for no rthyme and reason just to get the heat off her chest! She uses me and yet never give me any support that I deserved.

Bawls loudly!!! Why my life is so ill-fated? My personal social support is so limited. I have gone through many downs and I am still not getting up. I can't get up to say I have done it, I have finally achieved what I disire without worrying about anything. Still unable to regain my confidence in life. With someone to fall back on, someone you wish he would defend your points when you go home. Someone whom I can cry to and borrow an ear to listen to my sorrows. Someone who can cheer me up. No! that person is gone forever, never to come back and attend to my needs.

That's my dad, the only person in this world that give my solid support until god take him away and leave me in great saddness. He was someone that made home more worthwhile, not a battleground. Everytime I'm with him I feel locked away from reality, that's how I can develop my confidence and self-worth.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am also not a Christian so I asked my friend who is a Christian why they do not celebrate Qing Ming. My friend replied that it is because Christians believe that the spirit would rise to Heaven. Therefore the corpse lying there is just a vehicle for the spirit.

Demin Silver said...

But don't they miss their loved ones?